Pressure (Pushing Down On Me)


Usually people use the first post of their blog to introduce themselves, but today that I isn’t going to happen. Today I am going to unload a bit as my head feels like it is being compressed and expanded at the same time. Well here goes…enjoy.

It is Sunday, the seventh day of the week and the mark of a new one tomorrow. To me that means I got through an entire week of feeling like I was going to explode on any occasion. Mostly it’s my classes.

Rock and Rock History – I thoroughly enjoy this class but not at 8:35 A.M.

Web Design – I despise the very existence of this class and the teacher makes my blood pressure rise dangerously

Theater Appreciation –  I would love it more if it was more organized.

Broadcast Journalism – I have no choice but to love this one as it is my life in the form of a class. The work load and time constraint is the only thing that gets to me.

Publishing Practicum – This one is quite enjoyable but it makes me feel really inadequate because while I love poetry and all other literary forms, I am nowhere near the level my peers are at and I feel left behind in this here.

That is my life everyday, well academically. These five classes alone are causing stress I never new existed. I didn’t even know you can be unconsciously stressed. I am seriously walking around not knowing that I am stressed until someone points it out to me. I think overall, I am stressed about classes because recently I have just gotten into the swing of good grades and I honestly don’t want to go back to the way my grades used to be before I got my life together. This is especially crucial since I am literally 6 months away from the day I have to wear that lovely cap and gown.

Another thing that is wearing down on my shoulders is work. My job is to sit at a desk for a few hours, take the cards of residents and guests of the residential hall, keep the lobby calm and log each hour. It is the definition of simplistic. You would think this would be a easy paycheck, and it is, but at the same time it isn’t. When you have class early every Monday through Friday, it feels crappy to have to work every night until 1 A.M. Now it is money so I can’t complain but at the same time, I kind of like sleep a lot. I only have a few more weeks of this so there’s no use and trying to fix this now. At least next semester, I’ll have more free time and I can work easier.

There is one final thing that is bothering me but I can’t name it and it annoys me. There will be days when I will get this emotion that I can’t categorize or name, and it feels pleasurable nor painful. It’s just kind of there. It makes me stop some days in the middle of doing things. It even wakes me up. It’s just there. I feel like soon I will know what it is but as of now, my body is keeping me out of the loop.


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